labor day

this weekend was very busy for us. Friday night was spent at the studio cleaning, dusting, mopping, hanging curtains. all this work because Saturday in the town that the studio is in...there is a arts and crafts show. basically it takes up the entire town with booths of people selling everything from food, and blankets to expensive purses and jewelry. with my studio being exactly where it is...i was in the middle of everything. i wanted to the studio to look its best because the people from the surrounding towns might not have known about my studio ( free advertising) anyways Saturday morning josh ran another 5k and actually got 2nd place in his age group. He has decided to start training for a marathon. He is hoping to do one in Florida in march. I can't even imagine wanting to do a marathon. Too much running? I'll just stick with dancing! So while out on Saturday i found a book that my friend kate has been telling me i need to read. she has similar taste as i do so i thought i would check it out. Oh my Gosh!!!!! i started it Sunday night and finished it Monday night. I couldn't put it down. I was so sad it was over i wanted more and more. Luckily for me there are 3 other books in the series :) yeah! The book is called "Twilight" its probably more of a girl book but its about a vampire who falls in love with a very accident prone girl, and so he is constantly having to save her, even though he can't stand to be around her because not only does he love her....but he is a vampire and well you know what they like to eat! oh ya...only 2 weeks till Utah yeah!

just another day

So I feel like I work a lot, maybe its the constant having to come up with ideas for dance routines or just having to deal with children all the time. But in reality i only work like 13 hours a week. Not very much at all compared to all your 40+ hrs a week people. So as you can probably tell i am getting a little bored being at home and not doing anything. I am basically anxiously waiting to hear if i got the Hope Grant ( in Georgia if you are a resident and have a good enough gpa they pay for 100 percent of your tuition) so hopefully i hear back this next week. In the mean time i am just going over my schooling options and what i can accomplish and the amount of time it will take. I am definitely ready to get back in school. I feel like i am getting dumber and dumber each day. So i finally put up some new pictures of the studio. The studio still has some stuff that still needs to get done...aka the floor needs to get repainted and a few paint spots on the walls. and decorative things. but all in all this is what she looks like inside and out. If you don't remember what it looked like before scroll down and you will see the substantial amount of work that i had to do.

sun and humidity

It has been a few months since my last blog and I know my 3 readers can't wait to hear what has been going on. I opened the dance studio in June and had about 30 kids sign up. In July half of those kids didn't pay their tuition so it was very frustrating to deal with trying to collect money from those parents. Now with school starting down here I have had 12 more students sign up and things are getting busier and busier. In the summer I also added a yogalates class (yoga and pilates) I am not the one teaching it, but it is going great so far. We have classes m,w,th and Saturday. The lady who teaches is a military wife as well, and we are having a lot of fun learning the business side of all of it. We are not partners, I am still the owner, but I get a percentage of her earnings, so it works out for both of us. Josh has been really busy with school and I have been struggling with trying to figure out what to do schooling wise. I have pretty much decided that i will be going to radiology school or nursing school. However, it all depends on where we are stationed and if Josh get to cross train to be a chaplains assistant. If he gets to cross train ( finds out oct/nov) then he will have to go to tech school again which is only like 6 weeks long and then we would probably be moving again. The problem is that even if i start back in school the likelihood that things would transfer is not very high. As for where we live it is really hot mostly high 90's to low 100's plus like 90 percent humidity or something crazy like that. You can't go outside without becoming soaking wet and it is not fun. I am counting down the days until we go to Utah. I miss my family and friends so much and can't believe that my brother Cory is going on his mission next month.

crazy busy

I know it has been forever since i posted last...please don't be mad. Its kinda like the less you get things the more you savor and enjoy them right:) Anyways things are in full swing at the studio. I started registration on tuesday and I already have 8 students and some are signed up for 2 or more classes. My stress level is decreasing a little just because now i see that i am going to be able to make rent :) Other than the studio not a lot has happened. Josh and I went and saw Chronicles of Narnia last weekend. It was really well done i thought...maybe a bit long but good none the less. There was a part in the movie ( dont worry i am not ruining it for you) but the lion ( same one from the first movie to those of you who have seen it) The lion says something that really stuck with me. He is talking to the little girl and asking her why she didn't follow him when she saw he was trying to lead them safely ( nobody else with her had seen the lion and thought she was crazy) The little girl replied that she was scared because nobody believed her. His reply to this is " so you care more about what they thought of you than believing and following me?" This for me rang true...so many times in our lives we let what other people think affect our decisions we make. It isn't always the big things....for me it usually is just trying to please those around me and not wanting to cause drama or something stupid like that. I am working on it :) anyways i am coming home in september and am so excited to see my family and friends...it will have been over a year since i have seen them last and so much has changed. I will be posting pics of the studio, we still have to put the mirrors and barres up but it is looking awesome.

dance

looking in from the front door
front door
office area
looking our from office area
josh's staff sergeant cerimony
going away dinner for lily ( the one on the left)

shooting out at the range

So one big new thing going on. I was asked if I would want to open a dance studio in the town that we live in. There is not one currently here so I have decided to do it. I will still be teaching dance on base(two days a week), but will do this when I am not working there. I am so excited and scared at the same time. Lots of work to be done, but the owner of the building is paying for the cosmetic stuff. I just have to pay for the equipment aka ballet bars, mirrors, all that stuff. I am attaching some pictures of the building. It is located at the corner of the main street in our town. So basically anyone who drives through town or goes anywhere has to pass by it. The pictures don't look like much right now because it is being worked on, but I will get new ones posted as soon as it changes. The pictures at least show the size of the building which is really huge and perfect!!! I am also putting up some pictures from when josh sewed on staff sergeant. Also from my friend lily's going away dinner, and some of us when we went to the shooting range down here.

been awhile

i know it has been some time since my last post, but i will fill you in on what has happened. i got offered a job on base at the youth center basically helping take the kids on field trips and stuff. i put in my notice at work and should be starting that the 1st of may. i start teaching dance and gymnastics on june 2nd. i am really excited about all of it, it seems like it has been a long time coming. Josh was told that he "unofficially" got a job as the PT person for his whole squadron. that includes like 800 people or something like that. i guess i should clarify, right now josh is a PT combat leader, meaning that during their morning PT ( physical training) josh is in charge of a number of people to get them in shape and make sure they pass their PT tests. well this job that he is being told he is getting is basically in charge of all the PT combat leaders. he would be out of his shop, have an office job basically 8-5 monday through friday, and best of all NO DEPLOYMENTS for at least a year but longer if he were to stay in the job longer. we are both really excited for all the changes that will be coming soon. we did not go up to atlanta for easter because josh ended up not getting friday off, and it would have been a really short weekend if we had to drive 4 hrs back and forth to his parents. we just spent a nice weekend at home. next week josh and i are taking a weeks vacation. we aren't going anywhere but just spring cleaning the house and enjoying being lazy. i wish i could be in utah seeing ambers baby though....if she has it that is.

feeling lost

today was another bad day...they all seem to be that way these days....work is what seems to get me down. well after work i called the base, i have been having trouble finding the right insurance people with the right prices...it just seems like i have to put a lot of money down and then the payments are higher than what i expected ( for liability for my tumbling classes ) well i am going to start teaching first week of june if all goes right. i applied for a job on base as well. it is as a school aged instructor assistant for the youth center....not sure what i do exactly but i know i take them on field trips three times a week and they said they would work around my dance classes and stuff. the pay is better than what i make now and will be even better six months after i am there. its not a for sure thing, but i put my application in on wednesday and the lady i am working with about the dance stuff asked me today on the phone if i could come in monday for an interview. things are looking up in that aspect.

sometimes i feel like i never can do anything right, or i am not a good enough wife. as much as i try to be the perfect wife i always fall really really short.....the house seems like i clean it and then it becomes a mess ( it doesn't help that josh and i are working different shifts and we are both exhausted) but today especially i just feel like i am never going to be good enough for josh. he has never said it and tells me that he appreciates everything that i do, but i know its not enough. i wish i could be like my mom...i swear she was like wonder woman...house was always clean, dinner always prepared and she worked harder than anyone i have ever known. kinda hard to live up to those kind of standards. today is just a down day for me...every now and then being so far away from home and family just gets to me. i feel like i hold all of my emotions in and then a day like today comes and everything falls apart. all the emotions i have been holding in just come tumbling out in a fight with josh over something i did wrong. the tears start coming and wont stop. i hate that i feel like my heart is being pulled from my chest because i miss my family and i hate not being there for them during special times in their lives. i hate that i was not there to throw amber an amazing baby shower or help her with anything she needed. i hate that i don't get to see all my nieces and nephews, and hang out with my dad cause i know he needs to be around one of his favorite daughters. and i really miss my mom.....she is one of my best friends and i hate not being able to cry on her shoulder and have her hug me and tell me everything will be ok.....on a somewhat happier note because i know this is a pretty unhappy blog.....josh and i went with some friends target shooting last sunday, it was a lot of fun and i have not done it in forever. dad you will be proud to know that your teaching paid off and i kicked butt :) i got pictures and i will put them up soon. i miss you guys...and love you so much

catching up

just thought i would catch all of you up on the latest ( all of you meaning like the two people who actually read this blog) anyways josh did not get the job he applied for, but there is another opening for one here in a couple months. they said it was because someone else had better computer skills. anyways that day he started working on his computer skills so hopefully that wont be a problem this time. besides the job opening here in valdosta we are trying to keep our options open. as much as we would like to go back to utah, there isn't an opening there until 2010, so we will see when the time comes. until then josh is going to apply for the same position as an instructor, in as many places as he can....the one i am hoping for ( but i tell josh i am not getting my hopes up) is Guam. i just think it would be amazing to live somewhere exotic for a couple years. anyways enough about him......the dance thing is still slowly rolling, but who really knows when that will start. as all of you know i love film and have been sad that since moving here i have had to put that on hiatus. well i hate my job now and it seems to get worse and worse everyday. so i called a local photography place and asked if they do wedding videography, they don't but they gave me the number of a production studio here in town that does. so i am going to email them tonight and see if they need help. at work later today i had a patient with the same name as the photography studio i had called, well it happened to be the owner and i asked him if they offer those keepsake videos that i have done for all my friends weddings. its where you take pictures of the couple from the time they were little until now and put it with music and add transitions and stuff. well this stuff is cake to me and takes maybe an hour for me to do once all the pics are in the computer, and people charge like 300 dollars for this stuff. so anyways i asked the guy if he would want to add this as a service for his client el, he gave me his card and said he was very interested and wanted to talk to me more about it. so hopefully something will work out. i am just tired of my thankless job and want to do something i enjoy. on a sadder note, since moving here i have really only made one really good girl friend. she is the wife of one of the guys josh works with, and he decided to get out of the air force. so they are moving back to california ( actually close to where we grew up....Davis) they are leaving and again i am going to be friendless. we will of course stay in touch but i guess that is the life of the military always leaving friends and family.

okay so here is the update, the job that josh was not going to be able to apply for, well now he is and he turned it all in today, i am really so proud of him. last night i stayed up while he got ready for work and kinda asked him questions that they would ask him to help prepare him for the interview. it was really interesting to hear his responses. for example what is his best quality, he said it is his integrity ( i thought that was so cute and completely true, he is the most honest person i have ever met.) if he has lied about something it eats him up inside until he has to tell the truth. so he has learned not to lie. ( good quality i think) i asked why he wanted the position, he said that for his future goals of either becoming a chief master sergeant in 10 years, or an officer ( military chaplain to be specific) this change in his career would help him to get the leadership skills that he would definitely need. also i don't know if you know but he has enrolled in a school it is online which is awesome, and he is pursuing his masters in theology, although completing it is definitely a few years away, i am so proud that he starting something that he has such a passion for. tomorrow i am supposed to hear about the dance contracts with the base, hopefully they will be ready for me to sign ( cross your fingers) everything down here just moves so slowly it is ridiculous! i am trying not to get frustrated though, because i know that everything happens for a reason and i just have to know that my life is in gods hands and everything will work out. i posted a few more pics, one is of josh and i at the Atlanta zoo, it was taken in aug of 06 but i know you guys prob have not seen it so i thought i would put it up.. same with the others, not really new pics to me.....but new to those of you who have not seen them :) enjoy
ps love ya dad just thinking about ya

sick

well thursday was valentines day and we did not do anything special, because josh is working the night shift and we were just planning on celebrating on saturday. well saturday josh and i got into a fight, really our first big fight since we have been married, it was about something really stupid but we both decided to not let it go. we decided to go on with our plans, we went to an early movie "fools gold" it was a cute romantic comedy, and then went home to get ready for dinner. here in valdosta there really are not a lot of nice places to eat unless you consider chain steak houses fine dining. so anyways we got dressed up, him in dress pants, collared shirt and tie, and me in a very expensive black dress that i bought 2 years ago but never got the chance to wear. well we went to a place called the bistro. it is in the historic district of valdosta, really cute, small portions and big price tags. you know the places. well the food was okay, the service was so so considering they were packed, but all in all it was a very exhausting day. being mad at each other takes so much effort, and the fact that at work i caught something that resembles bronchitis, needless to say it is sunday and i am exhausted. on a brighter note josh and i talked everything out and we are once again happily married.

bring on the money

Okay so here in Georgia they have a little thing I like to call.....the mega million dollar lottery. as of today it is up to 150 million dollars. to some that might not seem like a lot ( whoever you are who thinks that you are CRAZY!!!) so of course i had to buy some tickets....someone has to win and i think it should be me! i bought ten tickets and even though i probably had the same odds buying one or none. but i can dream right?!?!? of course i started thinking what i would do if i won. pay off the house go shopping go on amazing vacations. then the less obvious stuff. again if you don't know me very well you might not know that i am a pretty giving person ( believe me i am not trying to toot my own horn, i just always get so much enjoyment out of giving things to people) anyways here is what i would do if i won. of course all of this would depend on how much but lets just say i won it all......here it goes

pay off my sisters and parents houses
get everyone out of debt
set up a fund for all my nieces and nephews for college and private schools if wanted
take my family on the best vacations possible
my mom would stop working !!!!!
build my mom a house with room for all her horses so she could focus on the things she loves most in life ( besides her kids of course)
buy my dad a house wherever he wanted to live and the dream car to go with it
layne he gets his porche 911
cory gets a gallery for his photography and a skatepark in the backyard :)
take my mom and sisters and grandma on a spa weekend including shopping at all the stores we never could afford otherwise
amber gets a all access pass to the kate spade store
and anything else i could possibly dream of for my family that would make them happy

josh and i would travel....he said he would still stay in the military though... :( he says he could never not work....i am all about early retirement. we would invest of course, but we would buy a house in utah so that i could be with my family whenever i wanted....and i guess i would have to have a plane or at least fly first class ( i never have before.....one day) i would donate to lots of charity...especially alzheimers research :)....my mom has to be able to remember her life after she was really able to enjoy it and not stress.

well that is my wish list not too much to ask for ....right? i would hope i would be the same person as i am now, same big heart, just have the money to be able to take care of the people i love the most.

First day posting

As I am sitting here trying to think of what to say...( my first blog should be meaningful or have some insight...right?) My mind is blank and all I can think about is how sad I am. Earlier this month Josh (my husband) was given the opportunity to apply for a job to be an instructor. To most this would not seem like something to be excited about, but to us it was an answer to our prayers. We have been hoping for this job to become available because it would mean he would be here for 4 years straight. No deployments no going away for short or long periods of time. After all the time we have spent apart so far in our relationship it seemed like something good was going to happen so we could actually spend another anniversary together or Christmas. Even start a family. I think that is why I am wanting him to get this position so badly is because I do want to have children, but I don't want to do it by myself. I mean there are the mothers who say they raised a child all alone, but for me its not about the raising of the child, it is about josh being there to watch my belly grow, and to be in the delivery room, and to be able to hold his child. Not for him to have to see his child for the first time through a picture or via web cam. I know I chose this life and am so grateful for what i have and for my amazing husband. But the reality of having to go through these things alone scares me to death. To those of you who complain that your husband isn't around enough, because he works to much or is in school or whatever. just be thankful that his work or school would not make him miss your childs birth or something that important. Mine would. Anyways back to the job thing. He found out today that they might not let him apply for it because the job he is in now is under staffed. Nothing is official but i just got my hopes up so much, and now I am having to think of the fact that he is probably leaving for another tour to the desert, and this time I don't have my family and friends around me for support. I know this sounds like i am just complaining about my life. but in my future blogs i will try to be upbeat. at least if its an upbeat day :)